


Fearful Symmetry

by Velvedere



Category: Jekyll and Hyde (TV)
Genre: First Kiss, Incubus Aftermath, M/M, Speculation, post season, what happens next
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-03
Updated: 2016-07-03
Packaged: 2018-07-19 19:20:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,728
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7374196
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Velvedere/pseuds/Velvedere
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After everything has calmed down, Ravi admits what it was the incubus showed him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Fearful Symmetry

Ravi turned the potato cakes over in the pan, careful to make certain they wouldn’t burn. The mash had to be golden-brown enough on the bottom to hold itself together, or the whole thing would fall apart before ever reaching a plate. Done correctly, the cakes would have a satisfying crispness that complimented the blend of herbs and vegetables within, without being overpowered by the rough taste of char.

Ravi didn’t think he would ever make aloo tikki as well as his mother – nobody cooked like she did…even as well off as their family had been, she never thought herself above stepping into a kitchen – but for what cobbled together ingredients he could find in the townhouse’s pantry and the local marketplace, he thought he did rather well.

He’d heard tell of what made up a proper English breakfast, and he didn’t think he was brave enough to attempt it just yet. Ravi stuck to what he knew.

The smell of cloves and cumin and coriander rose in the air, curling over the firelights of the stove and cooking pots. The spices hadn’t been easy to get; even as a colony England didn’t seem terribly interested in importing Indian spices to commoners. Ravi had only gotten what he had after haggling with the shopkeeper for half an hour. Even then, it was expensive. But, for a moment, with the sunlight streaming in through the front windows, painting everything in a gold hue, birds singing outside in the trees lining the streets, the house calm and cool and quiet, Ravi could almost believe he was back home. They could have been still back in Ceylan and his parents would be up soon and he would surprise them with a meal he had cooked himself and everything was the way it had been. He could almost believe that none of it – the nightmares, the monsters – had happened.

Tears stung sharp at the corner of his eyes. Ravi wiped them away and blamed it on the chopped onions.

Perhaps next time he would try moong dal cheela. What he would have given to taste his mother’s moong dal cheela one more time.

He set the freshly prepared breakfast onto a tray alongside a steaming cup of coffee – cream, sugar, a clean knife, spoon, and fork neatly arranged – and folded a cloth over his arm as he picked it up to carry into the parlor.

 _Proper waitstaff style_ , he thought, and wondered what his father would have said.

He meant to take it up to Robert and surprise him in bed. Robert had been sleeping a lot the last few days, and – since all that had happened with the calyx – Ravi didn’t blame him. He needed his rest.

He stopped halfway through the parlor when he heard heavy footsteps clumping down the stairs.

The smile faded from Ravi’s face.

It wasn’t Robert.

It didn’t take Ravi long at all to learn the signs: the slightly stooped posture, the way he held his arms back, his neck bowed forward and eyes glaring side to side around him, as if he had to keep constant watch on his surroundings. The way he would suddenly sniff the air – like a dog, cocking his head – or grunt, or the way he sometimes twitched for no apparent reason. Ravi wondered if it was because he found his own body too small and confining.

Also he pursed his lips in a peculiar manner.

There were a lot of ways to tell the difference between Robert and Hyde, even before he spoke.

“I need a piss.”

It was hard to believe – still, after knowing him for weeks – that two different voices could come out of the same person. Or…the same body. Hyde sounded nothing like Robert. Low. Peppered with growls and snorts and grunts. Sneering every word he spoke like the very concept of speech was beneath him. Time and breath wasted bothering to explain his existence or thoughts to other people.

Ravi stood where he was, careful not to get in his way, as Hyde grumbled and rubbed the back of his neck, stretching and twisting his joints until they popped, before disappearing into the washroom. He didn’t bother shutting the door beyond a haphazard smack behind him that closed it only halfway.

Ravi turned aside, cringing as he heard the sound of falling water.

Hyde didn’t bother to flush, either.

“What are you doing up?” He drawled as he reemerged, his slow walk a swagger, confidence oozing from every pore. “Where’s Garson?”

“Mr. Garson is still asleep.” Ravi indicated the upstairs bedrooms as best he could with his hands full. “I got up to make you—Robert—breakfast.”

“Isn’t that the old man’s job?” Hyde sauntered close to him, circling around behind to lean in over Ravi’s shoulder, sniffing then looking disdainfully down at the meal.

His lack of respect for personal boundaries made Ravi incredibly uncomfortable.

He tensed, but fought not to show his discomfort. He didn’t want Hyde to notice.

“He isn’t your butler,” Ravi muttered under his breath. “He’s an old man. He needs his rest.”

“Well this decidedly _not_ old man needs some grub. What is that?”

“It’s some of Robert’s favorites. Potato cakes and rawa upma with cottage cheese—”

Hyde reeled away, vocalizing his disgust.

“Robert is a vegetarian,” Ravi explained.

“Well I didn’t climb to the top of the food chain to eat something that looks like a bull shat out. I want real food! Where’s the wine?”

Hyde stormed away into the kitchen, shouting as he went. His voice carried to the top of the townhouse and probably woke Garson in his room, if he hadn’t already. Ravi sighed and followed him, setting down the breakfast tray on a low table pushed against the wall. Maybe he could keep it warm until Robert came back…

Hyde grumbled and swore as he opened and slammed shut cabinet after cabinet across the kitchen. When that failed to produce any results, he started on drawers and cupboards, shoving aside anything that got in his way with the exact amount of regard Ravi expected him to give anything.

Ravi stood by, folding his arms in front of him as he lingered in the doorway.

“There’s a wine rack in the pantry closet. There.” He nodded to a door Hyde had not yet considered.

Hyde grinned – massive, lopsided – and went to the pantry. He reached inside to draw out a dark wine bottle, holding it up like it was a prize.

“Ahhhh. That’s better!”

He didn’t bother undoing the cork. He smashed the head of the bottle against the nearest wall instead and poured its contents into his mouth, spilling half of it down the front of his nightshirt.

“Not bad,” he gasped, wiping his mouth on his sleeve as he paused for a breath. He grinned aside at Ravi, saluting him with the broken bottle. “You’re getting pretty good at that. Did you divine that with your special sight?”

Ravi ignored his sarcasm.

“I did some cleaning in here last night,” he said calmly. “I was the one who put them away.”

“Well, aren’t you just the sweetest?” Hyde slurped more of the drink. “I don’t suppose you can predict the future to when breakfast will arrive?”

“I don’t see the future. Just through the eyes of—”

“Monsters. I know.” Hyde gulped the last of the wine and threw the empty bottle into the sink. Ravi winced as it smashed into countless sharp green pieces. Hyde immediately returned to the pantry for more.

“Why are _you_ up so early?” Ravi asked, rather pointedly. “I’ve never seen you wake up before. Robert is usually peaceful when he sleeps.”

“Oh, he still is.” Hyde leaned back out of the closet, examining the label on the bottle he selected. “Don’t you worry your pretty little head, boy. I’m not taking over.” He winked aside with a lascivious glint. “Jekyll woke up. But he was feeling a bit…strained. Needed some relief. Hence…” This time he bit the cork out of the bottle and spat it aside, all the while making an obscene jerking hand gesture near his waist. He took another deep drink before sighing in loud content.

Ravi ducked his head. He hugged his arms tighter around himself.

“I guess getting up close and personal with an incubus will do that to a bloke.”

For a moment, Ravi didn’t say anything.

“Poor, poor repressed Robert.” Hyde went on, examining his reflection in the wine bottle, turning his head this way and that in admiration. “He really does need to learn how to relax.”

“I should think the incubus showed you a vision of yourself,” Ravi muttered. “That is what you truly love.”

Hyde snorted a laugh.

“No arguments from this corner. I like that someone finally understands that.” He tilted his head, eying him suddenly with an interest that made Ravi even more uncomfortable. “What about you, eh? I can make a good guess at what everyone else there saw when they looked at that thing. Everyone has their lovey-doveys. But you…” He tipped the bottle at him, pointing with its tip. “You were the only one there smart enough to keep your mouth shut. No swooning or spillings of ‘ooh, my love’ like some mad damsel.”

Ravi wanted to shift in place. He looked anywhere else. At the floor. At the tiles on the wall. Out the window offering a limited view of the London street outside. He didn’t like lying, but he liked even less the idea of telling Hyde the truth.

Or worse: Robert.

“So what was it, eh?”

“I didn’t see anything.” Ravi shook his head. “Just the monster. I’ve never…”

“Never what?”

“I’ve never…been in love...”

“Oh. You don’t have to be in love to have desires. Believe me.” Hyde’s grin curled up one corner of his mouth. He peeled away from the sink and slunk towards him, and the way he walked made Ravi think of a tiger. Hunting. “Was it some girl from back home? Or maybe someone here? Maybe you fancy Miss Lilly a bit more than you let on? Or is Bella more your type?”

Ravi felt rooted to the spot, his eyes fixed on the ground. He tried not to breathe too deeply as he felt Hyde lean in close to him. Felt his breath fall on his shoulder. His body radiate heat like there was a fire inside him.

Ravi swallowed. Hard. Hyde’s voice curled against his ear.

“Or maybe it wasn’t a girl at all…?”

“I didn’t see anything!” Ravi jerked, unable to bear the tension. He snapped his head up and unlocked his arms across his chest with the intent to shove his way free. He would dart to some area of the house where he had more room. Where he could breathe.

It was a mistake.

Hyde was there, looming close, trapping him with both hands planted on the wall just to the side of his shoulders. Ravi hadn’t noticed him setting the bottle down on the table beside the breakfast tray, long forgotten.

“Ohhhh ho ho,” Hyde laughed, his grin a leer. “You shouldn’t lie to me, boy. That just makes me more interested. Now I’ve _gotta_ know.”

His arms uncrossed, Ravi had nowhere to put them but down at his sides, palms pressed flat against the wall behind him. It left him feeling far too open. Exposed. The best he could do was turn his face away, down from Hyde’s hot breath, and hide his eyes beneath a fall of his hair that may as well have been an admission of guilt.

He leaned his back against the wall, sagging.

No. No, it wasn’t a girl he had seen.

It hadn’t been a random boy back from Ceylan, either.

It had been someone very, very specific.

Ravi could still remember the scene, as clear and sharp as the mirrors that had captured it.

They’d arranged the broken mirror pieces in a wide circle around the room. Miss Rinata had lured the incubus into the trap, risking herself to make up for her mistakes. The demon hadn’t realized until it was too late, and – unable to face the sight of its own reflection – it turned to the tactic at which it was best: changing, morphing, becoming the things all of them wanted to see.

Ravi imagined that Robert saw Miss Lilly. That only made sense. Miss Rinata saw her dead husband. Maggie saw Robert’s grandfather. Hyde…well, maybe he really had seen himself, though Ravi didn’t think so.

And Ravi, well…

The incubus’ power wasn’t just in illusions. It was also in enchantment. Miss Rinata saw her husband because that was what she wanted to see, but also because it had placed some sort of charm on her mind to make her believe it was possible; that he could have come back from the dead. Her willingness and desire to believe gave the demon its strength. It probably wasn’t that hard. People often saw whatever it was they wanted to see, especially when they wanted it badly.

Ravi had seen Robert.

Or, rather, he’d thought it was Robert. His adoptive big brother, tall and proud with the defined lines in his face that seemed to speak of his character. His dark eyes had always held concealed depths. When he laughed, when he was happy, those depths seemed a little less unfathomable. Like Ravi might actually be able to see all the way to the bottom of him. Robert’s smile reached all the way up to his eyes, and Ravi couldn’t count the times he had spent in his childhood just watching him, listening to him, admiring the way he spoke and the things he said and the sound of his gentle voice. Wondering – hoping – that one day he could be just like him…

The illusion had been so real. Ravi wasn’t sure he wouldn’t have fallen under its spell completely, if Robert’s double had not been standing there on the other side of the circle of mirrors – just in sight – to remind him that it was not real.

But then the illusion reached out, and just barely touched wispy fingers across the plane of his cheek.

It spoke.

“Raaviiii…”

It was not Robert’s voice.

A jolt of adrenaline shot through Ravi’s heart now as much as it had then, realizing it was Hyde who stood before him. But…it was not Hyde the way he was now: lecherous, leering, breath smelling of wine. The illusion had still been him, his confidence and intensity, and yet…somehow it was different. The look in his eyes as they fell upon Ravi were not inflamed with malice. There was gentleness in his touch. The rise of his height and body over him did not feel threatening, but…protective.

If the incubus had shown them all what they wanted to see, then perhaps what he saw was not the Hyde before him now, but rather a Hyde that could be. One who turned his same energy and aims toward something better than just himself.

Ravi must have fallen quiet for a long time. Hyde pulled back, looking down at him with an almost angry confusion, his face scrunching up into that particular look he had when he couldn’t figure something out, and it bothered him.

“Are you sick?”

“No,” Ravi mumbled, finally taking a breath. He had forgotten until his heart was pounding with the need for air.

“What’s the matter?”

Hyde managed to always phrase his questions like angry demands. Inquiries born of a greed for knowledge. Not concern or care.

Ravi took a breath.

“I saw you,” he said, all at once on an exhale, and felt strangely relieved for it.

A certain amount of satisfaction came in the way Hyde reeled back, wrinkling his nose and lip lifting into a sneer, as if Ravi had just turned into something distasteful. But he did not pull away so far as to take his hands from the wall.

“What,” he said flatly.

Ravi curled his hands into fists, holding them stiff at his sides.

He looked up to him, unafraid.

“I do not think you are as bad as everyone says,” he said.

Hyde burst out laughing.

“Oh, if that’s the case, boy,” he sneered, shaking his head. “I take back what I said about you being the smart one. Because that is as far from true as you can get.”

He leaned in again, but Ravi didn’t flinch. He held himself still, breathing deep and even.

“If that was true, then why did you do so much to save my life? When that reaper bug had me?”

He met Hyde’s eyes, challenging. For a moment it seemed Hyde had no answer. His head jerked to one side as the muscles around his eye twitched.

“That wasn’t…I didn’t…”

“You donated your own blood. You could have let me die easily. All you would have had to do was nothing.”

“It wasn’t—”

“It wouldn’t have affected you one way or the other.”

Hyde slammed his fist suddenly against the wall, hard enough to rattle the kitchenwear.

“If you died then that sentimental Jekyll would have blamed the whole thing on me!” he shouted, face tinged red in a flash of anger. Ravi saw the light in his eyes. The dark veins splintering like cobwebs across his face. They faded by degrees. “It’s hard enough cooperating with him as it is! I didn’t need that headache.”

“I think there is more than that,” Ravi said. “I think there is some good in you. You and Robert are part of each other, so you cannot be completely separate—”

“You’re wrong,” Hyde snarled.

“—and I believe that all life on this Earth has a purpose. If yours is to rid the world of monsters, then that is good. But in order to avoid becoming one of them, you must be allowed to make your own choices. You have to have a chance to learn to grow, and change. You can’t do that if everyone automatically assumes you are evil.”

“So that’s it, eh?” Hyde eyed him up and down. “You’re going to be the one to groom the good out of me?” His tone dripped acidic distaste. The curl of his lip showed his teeth.

Ravi stood his ground.

“Yes.”

Hyde…looked at him. He looked at him for a long time, eyes darting across his brow and face as if he could find any hint of truth or misgiving there in Ravi’s features. His expression twitched again in confusion and uncertainty, and Ravi felt a moment’s wonder looking back at him. Looking at this creature, whose greatest confusion was being shown an offer of kindness, and what changes within him even that small gesture may have already begun.

Sometimes that was all it took. Single drops of water could carve stone, after all, if they had enough time.

Finally, Hyde laughed, though the sound came uncertain. Pulling wider at his grin as if to force it back into place.

“Well, you are something, boy,” he rumbled, with maybe something like grudging admiration. He leaned in close to him so that his breath fell on Ravi’s shoulder. His voice lowered to a dangerous hiss. “So what do we do about it now? You sure it was me you saw. Not your precious brother?”

“I know the difference,” Ravi said sternly.

The corner of Hyde’s mouth twitched.

“Well. Good thing I’m not your brother, then.” He turned his head, brushing his mouth just over the line of Ravi’s cheek. “Not that that would stop me…”

He kissed him, if one could call it that. Ravi had never been kissed before – studying and helping at the hospital back in Ceylan had never left much time to be social, and he was quite happy to stay home and read books while other young men his age were out going to parties – but he was fairly certain first kisses weren’t supposed to go like this.

Hyde was rough. In this, as he was in everything else. Ravi winced and grunted low in his throat as he felt himself crushed back against the wall, the press of mouths jarring and unfamiliar. Hyde’s hand moved to the back of his neck, holding Ravi in place as he helped himself with greedy abandon. Teeth scraped against Ravi’s lips and he gasped at the shock of a wet tongue on his skin. The jolt the first realization of contact sent through his body. Hyde took advantage of the split second his mouth was open and plunged in, tasting him deep. Ravi’s hands rose from the wall to grip the sleeves over Hyde’s arms – though whether to pull him in closer or push him away was uncertain…for the moment he simply _held on_ – and he closed his eyes, bracing himself to bear the brunt force of Hyde’s attention.

Perhaps it didn’t last as long as it felt. Hyde pulled away, a wet smacking sound as they disengaged, but lingered close in the aftermath, grinning viciously and panting for breath as he grabbed a fistful of the front of Ravi’s shirt. Pulling him close enough that their noses brushed.

“I’m gonna have a lot of fun corrupting you,” he leered.

Ravi blinked up at him, swallowing his shock. The kiss had left him feeling…used. Invaded. But it wasn’t…entirely unpleasant. Even if it left a hollow feeling in the pit of his stomach, there was something else. Something further down…

He bit his bottom lip, wetting the tingling sensation that lingered there.

“And I will continue to believe you can be redeemed,” he said, ashamed of the tremble in his voice. But he would not take the words back.

Hyde laughed. He pulled Ravi’s shirt up enough to force him onto his toes, leaning over him and keeping his weight against him to press him into the wall.

“Looks like we’re both suckers for a hard case,” he said, licking his lips. Looking Ravi over like the meal he had yet to acquire.

Ravi swallowed, certain he should feel more frightened than he did.

Hyde leaned in, and…nuzzled him…with surprising softness against the dip of Ravi’s throat.

He rumbled, purring like a tiger.

“What’s say we give it another go?”


End file.
